Want To Be More Likeable? Don’t Make These Mistakes!
We all at some time or another, ask ourselves questions like “How can I be more likable?” or “Why don’t people like me?” That’s natural. Sometimes it’s simply because we don’t have the kind of control we’d like over what other people think about us!
But at times, we are to blame. If you want to be really, truly likable, we’d suggest avoiding the mistakes we discuss here.
Mistake 1 – Seeking Too Much Attention
It’s important to be a good listener and be able to communicate with people effectively. Of course it is. But are you actually trying too hard to get noticed? Do you feel that you always have to be the most ‘important’ person in the room?
It doesn’t take too much for people to take a dislike to those who are desperate for attention. If you tend to do this, even just a bit, own up to it. Then just be yourself, be friendly and approachable, and always be kind as well as considerate. That’s all you need, really, to win people over. Job done: next!
Mistake 2 – Passing Up Opportunities To Make Small Talk
We get it, small talk can sometimes feel like your mum send you on an errand. But don’t be so quick to brush it off entirely. Small and seemingly ‘meaningless’ conversations at a party about a recent book or movie that’s just been released … or even the weather … are great ways to start building connections that can develop in their strength and importance.
In fact, being friendly, and amiable, is the most sure-fire way to get people to like you. And to see how to do this, there’s a great course on how to be more likable in a few easy steps. No more waking up in the middle of the night and wondering “why don’t people like me”!
Mistake 3 – Using Negative Body Language
Do you know why people are usually attracted to that one person at every party or social gathering? It could be that they’re always making positive expressions and gestures, while using an upbeat tone of voice. You might have even observed how some people at office meetings are really, really likable.
Becoming aware of your tone, expressions, and gestures will enable you to tweak them; to attract people toward you. It’s actually easier than you may think! Some examples include avoiding a natural tendency to cross your arms while talking to people, or maintaining eye contact (without staring at them!).
You can use an upbeat and enthusiastic tone, and lean in slightly towards someone when they reply or speak to you. There are many more, but they all stem from a belief in thinking – and acting – positively.
You know, it really is true when they say how you say something is often a lot more important than what you want to say…
Mistake 4 – Not Smiling Enough
This doesn’t mean having a creepy smile glued to your face like The Joker! But a natural tendency to smile in a warm and friendly way when you speak to someone or when you walk into a room, can be a real asset.
You’ll often see people unconsciously mirroring the body language of the person they’re communicating with. So when you smile and talk to someone in a natural way, they will likely return the gesture, which creates a bond almost instantly.
This means that when you smile at people during a conversation, you can bet they will return the favour unconsciously and without even thinking, because deep down, they will feel good. Guess what? More points for you, now you are more likable!
Mistake 5 – Doubting Other People’s Abilities
We all yearn for validation. In fact, it’s often the key to improving our abilities. If someone is well-qualified to handle something, don’t doubt them.
What you should be doing is the opposite: helping them believe in their own abilities. When you back someone by reassuring them that you believe in them, they’ll feel more confident in their abilities. And when they achieve something due to believing in themselves, they’re sure to remember that you were part of the process.
Which is a great way to be more likable at the end of the day!
Mistake 6 – Not Giving Compliments Or Acknowledgement (Where They’re Due)
Ask yourself this: when was the last time someone agreed with you by saying “fantastic idea!” or “you’re absolutely right”?
It felt good, didn’t it? When someone is complimented or their efforts are acknowledged, their brain undergoes a chain reaction, kind of like how we feel when we get a monetary reward for achieving something. There are several studies backing this so it’s not just a theory!
We’re actually wired to actively seek out pleasant sensations. As a result, people are always on the lookout for those who acknowledge their efforts or achievements, or compliment them when it’s due. Don’t be afraid to pat someone on the back for their hard work or effort, however trivial it may seem.
And remember the words “thank you”. The doorman may open the door for you or a complete stranger could give you directions – even thanking them with a few words is likely to create a positive reaction in them. They’ll like you for it!
Doing this won’t just make you more likable: it will also boost your own feelings in relationships. Which isn’t a bad thing either…
Mistake 7 – Believing That Only Your Opinion Matters
Of course you need to share your opinions. But when you do, try to flip it around to the listener by asking what they think. Much better than throwing an opinion in the air and putting a full stop after it, expecting everyone to follow suit.
People who do this are usually seen as self-important, maybe even “in your face”, which isn’t a good look, is it? Don’t be like that!
Being likeable is really about seeing yourself from other people’s point of view, isn’t it? If you’re an attention seeker, or self-obsessed, or if you never acknowledge or thank people, you’re not really going to be liked, even if you shower people with gifts or help old ladies across the road.
So take a look at the mistakes we’ve outlined here, and see how you measure up. Just a tweak will likely have significant benefits for your likeability factor!
